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DARNED CLEVER THOSE CHINESE -- MAKE A PROMISE, THEN BACK OFF. Technicians from the United States are attempting to inspect the Navy reconnaissance plane that landed in China after a collision with a Chinese jet, but despite promises to help. Chinese military officials aren't even supplying power to aid the US team. The Lockheed-Martin team is trying to find out whether the disabled plane can fly, or whether it needs to be dismantled and shipped back to the US. Awfully hard to do when you can't even get lighting to inspect the inside of the plane, which has already been partially dismantled by Chinese scientists searching for intelligence information.

The US team has already inspected the exterior of the plane. They can't relay their findings to the US because Chinese officials have disallowed the use of satellite cell phones. 

The trouble for the US team may be related to a preliminary order Wednesday from Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld that there be no military-to-military contact between the US and China.  The Pentagon Wednesday released a Rumsfeld memo ordering a breaking of such contact, then rescinded the order. 

THREE MEN HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR STEALING CORPORATE SECRETS, GIVING THEM TO CHINA. A US citizen and two Chinese nationals are accused of making off with the Lucent Technologies source code for telephone-related Internet communications. More.

YEARNING FOR US MEDIA ATTENTION, THE CHINESE THURSDAY ACCUSED PRESIDENT BUSH OF BEING "WEAK" and accused him of, yes, yearning for media attention. One Chinese official said the Bush plan for a missile defense system, pushed by Bush Wednesday, threatens world peace.  

At this point, there seems little doubt that China's reaction to the missile defense system vindicates Bush's plan. If China, in such an anti-American mood, doesn't like it, it must be good for America.  Or so it seems. 

Remarkably, Prime Minister Tony Blair's office in London Thursday said Blair backs the Bush missile defense program, according to the British Independent.

And in an unprecedented move, officials in India did much the same, the HindustanTimes reports. China is practically an official enemy of the current Indian government; but they haven't been blatant US allies in some time. 

Meanwhile, North Korea has abandoned its mawkish tone of reconciliation that characterized the last months of the Clinton Administration; they now appear ready to renew cold war ties to Russia and China, asking for money and support.

The Man Who Would Be King of North Korea, 29-year-old Kim Jong-nam, has been detained in Japan after trying to get through that country with a bogus visa, in an attempt, Kim says, to go to America to see Disneyland. Not too many amusement parks in North Korea; people are too busy looking for food to spend money to shake hands with Goofy.

Kim is the oldest son of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il. You don't have time for me to list the human rights abuses during his reign.

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 1947, THE US HAS NO PLACE IN THE UNITED NATIONS HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION. There was a vote Thursday: the 53 members of the commission chose three seats, between the US, Sweden and -- bastions of human rights that they are -- Austria and France. 

Who won? Sweden, Austria and France.  The US United Nations ambassador says America will continue its crusade against human rights abuses worldwide. The US retains the right to petition UN members against human rights abuses. 

GUNS STOP CRIMES! Duh.  A headline that would make Dan Rather cringe. Fox News reported it Thursday.

ACTOR RYAN O'NEAL, 60,  IS SAID TO HAVE LEUKEMIA, but a spokesman says it "not life threatening."  Is there a form of non-life threatening cancer? Ironically, O'Neal's character's  wife in the legendary movie, "Love Story" (1970) was dying of leukemia, according to movie analysts. 

EX-BEATLE GEORGE HARRISON, 58, UNDERWENT LUNG CANCER SURGERY Thursday, but is said to be doing better than he has been in years. 

ITS A WORLDS RECORD! NO OTHER BOOK SERIES HAS SOLD MORE! AN INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENT IN LITERATURE! Shakespeare? Hemingway? Kitty Kelley? No, Harry Potter, the orphan with strange powers.  

The British author, J. K. Rowling's agent Thursday announced the children's books have sold 100-million copies worldwide, calling it an "unprecedented publishing achievement," never before imagined in the history of books and culture!

If only we all had such an agent.

So help me.

-- Mike Shiloh

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